Here's where MY lottery winnings are going

WHEN I wen the Mega Millions jackpot, I am going to ...

October 23, 2018

By now, SO many of you know that the Mega Millions jackpot is beyond $1 BILLION that you're making it harder and harder for me to win the money. MOre players means "lower odds," unless I choose to buy more to BETTER my odds. 

Who am I kidding? I haven't even bought my numbers yet; I'm such a procrastinator. I will, though. Just not yet.

So I already have plans for my winnings, and maybe you have, too. After all, you hear SO many horror stories of lottery winners winding up MORE broke than before - or at the very least, miserable in their newfound fame and wealth. Gee, "try me." 

My plans, once i"m the world's newest BILLIONARE include:

* paying off the home we've been trying to sell in Myrtle Beach, SC. I' rich; might as well keep it so we have that "rich people" beach house for ourselves and family and friends to stay at when we or they wanna go to the beach.

* buying a house in the mountains for weekend getaways. With a helipad - because I'm done with long drives in traffic to get up there. Oh, we'll need a car for up there, too, so ...

* buying a car for the mountain weekend getaways.

* also now, a helicopter since I now have a helipad at the mountain house.

* which means I need to buy a house or condo here with somewhere to park our helicopter.

* so maybe we buy a fancy midtown condo in a high rise AND a north Fulton/Cobb home, too.

* ehh, now I feel like I need to "do" something with some of the winnings so the money's MAKING us money, too. So I'll hire someone to make those decisions for me. On commission so I KNOW they do the job right!  

* buying my suite at the Benz for all future Falcons & United games (and concerts, too)

* or do I just buy a piece of the Falcons ("Mr. Blank, Ron's on line two") and get that thrown in?

* and if I'm going to do that, I should get a place in or near Athens (with a helipad, duh) so I can get to all the Georgia Bulldogs games I want to attend, too.

* and if we're going to do all THAT, I'm a big Braves fan as well, so why not kick the tires on a SunTrust Park suite, too? 

People ask me all the time "if you could afford hair plugs would you want a full head of hair?" Answer? No. Sounds painful. Maybe I'd look into some other physical augmentations, though. Teeth. Maybe ab implants? Sit-ups suck, so yeah, ab implants. Hmm, push-ups and bench presses suck, too. Okay, pectoral implants, too. Aww heck, let's get some shulder, bicep and tricep inserts, too.

But no hair plugs; I still need to be recognizable to my friends and family (and the cats), after all. 

Oh, but hey, I've had vision issues since childhood; what's it gonna cost to FINALLY has 20/20 vision? Is that even possible? 

See? I have PLENTY to spend those winnings on. Better go get some numbers, though, eh?