Producer Kelly Cheese's Open Letter

We are writing open letters, and Producer Kelly Cheese's letter is to those who drive slow in the fast lane.

June 6, 2016
Kelly Cheese Driving Mad

Kelly Cheese

Jeff gave the Jeff & Jenn show team an opportunity to write open letters to someone who really, really (we mean REALLY) bugs them. Producer Kelly Cheese wrote her open letter to all the people who drive slow in the far left lanes & she sounds angry. Move over y'all, she's about to teach you the law of the left lane! Here is her letter in its entirety:

An Open Letter To:

All the people who drive slow in the far left lanes.

Oh, hello. We meet again. It seems like you’re always here when I need you the least.  It’s usually when I’m in a rush or I’m running late that you decide to show up. But ya know what? I can always count on you to be here in the far left lane driving UNDER the speed limit. In case you weren’t aware, the left lane is also known as the PASSING LANE or the FAST LANE….FOR A REASON. We, who should be driving in the left lane, want to drive FAST or PASS those of you who are driving slower. So, right now, if find yourself in your car on 75, 85, 400, or 285 and you’re wondering “Why in the world is this person behind me riding my bumper? I’m driving the speed limit for pete’s sake!” Take a good look at yourself, are you in the left lane going the speed limit?? WHO ARE YOU?? MOVE OVER! The left lane is for people going OVER the speed limit, not for people –like you- driving at your leisure on the roads. DO YOU NOT HAVE ANYWHERE TO BE??? ARE YOU NOT RUNNING LATE LIKE ME??

And why is it, when I’m driving 10 over the speed limit and there you are, I flash my lights to let you know I’m coming, you still don’t get it, or maybe you do and you don’t move over, so then I have to ride your bumper to be aggressive about it, I come off as the rude one?! And if you decided to brake check me and I hit your car, it’s my fault?! NO, JUST NO. Chances are, I tried passing you (USING THE RIGHT LANE TO PASS WHICH IS SO BACKWARDS) but your buddy is riding right along next to you, going the same speed limit! So here I am trying to obey the rules of the LEFT LANE & I’m stuck behind you and this other guy and all I can do is make rude hand gestures & yell at you to MOVE OVER as if you can hear me. YOU SON OF A B****!

Yours truly,
Kelly Cheese