Producer David's Open Letter on Leaving Grocery Carts in the Parking Lot

It's really frustrating when people leave their carts in the parking lot, and Producer David is ranting about it.

July 7, 2016
Grocery Cart in Parking Lot

Dear inhumans who leave their grocery carts in the middle of the parking lot,

You are a stain on the human race. You’ve somehow managed to walk all over the entire grocery store but can’t seem to make the ten feet over to the cart return. You are lazy, incompetent and just all-around nasty. If an alien war were to break out, they’d come for you first. I would rather floss my teeth after not doing it for a year and have blood dripping from my gums for hours than to have to look you in the eye.

I pull into the lot and see a rare open space near the front and get all jittery inside, only to pull up and see your transgression glaring me in the face. Taunting me like a child who has taken the last cookie from the cookie jar. You are abominable. All I want is to park quickly, get inside and get my groceries. But no! I’ve got to wipe your a** and take your cart inside, or just deal with it as is, finagling my car into the spot beside your buggy. But sometimes I just run it over. Because let’s be honest, that’s just easier and ain’t no way in h*** I’m giving up my front row parking.

I don’t know what our society has come to when we throw common sense and decency out the window in exchange for a 15-second-quicker getaway from the store. I grieve for our children who see these habits as normal. In fact, I’m starting an online campaign hashtag #nocartleftbehind.  It’s time to make parking lots great again.