Jenn's Open Letter to Parents who Take their Kids to Music Festivals

Jenn is fired up at those parents taking their babies to all day music festivals!

July 7, 2016
Baby at Music Festival

People who bring babies to music festivals,

Hey there mom and dad! News Flash, you are now parents. That means your love for Widespread Panic, Music Midtown, and all things jam bands has to take a backseat to your child. I know your passion for live music far exceeds your abilities to see things clearly. So let me point out a few things to you, and ask you a favor. Please stop dragging your sweet baby to each and every live show all summer long. Why? It’s hot! Really really hot! Your poor baby is  wearing a full diaper made of synthetic disposable material and absorbent chemicals that is causing a red rash from HELL! As you jam dance with your toes in the mud, Baby Bjorn and hiking bag packets are great but not for carrying your child around the entire day. Can you imagine being wrapped in a sleeping bag and then toted around on someone else’s sweaty torso? With friction from hippy dancing and stench from their armpits right at your nose level! And then they expect you to be happy about that?!

Tiny ears are not made for rock shows, country shows, pop shows or really any loud shows. Your baby has to have those ears drums forever so you may want to consider that before your next drum circle. Your poor, innocent child is exhausted by you and you’re insatiable needs to stay relevant and cool, besides she just needs a nap! Which is clearly evident by your baby dangling head and subsequence drool falling all over your shoulder. But you don’t notice because you’re passing your buddy a joint. The baby has sunscreen streaks on her cheeks from crying and a bright red spot on the crown of her head from the sun. All the while being forced to listen to your favorite band. So here’s to you rock mom and pa, if you can afford those fancy strap Tevas or Birkenstocks along with the cost of concert tickets, you can also afford a babysitter!