Curtis' "Wallowing In Self-Pity Spicy Spinach Dip"

The only dip you'll ever need, made by our very own Curtis Slade.

January 30, 2020
Artichoke Dip
Categories: 

Curtis Slade from Jenn & Friends has the exact recipe you need. Straight from Curtis' cookbook:

Serving Size: 6-8 people. But if you’re single, one serving 

Buy BRAND NAME ITEMS! At least pretend you have money for one day.

 

Ingredients:

16oz cream cheese, softened 

4oz sour cream

20oz frozen spinach (thawed) 

7oz canned marinated artichoke hearts (you will need to chop these) 

4oz shredded parmesan cheese

4oz shredded mozzarella cheese

3oz Athenos feta cheese with tomato basil (if not in dairy dept., if can be found in the deli)

3 garlic gloves minced 

1 tablespoon of butter

 

If anyone tells you that there are a lot of calories in this recipe, get rid of them!!! You don’t need that negativity in your life! 

 

Spices:

1/2 tablespoon of onion powder

1/4 tablespoon of cayenne pepper 

1/4 tablespoon of crushed red pepper 

1/4 tablespoon of ground white pepper

 

Oooh child! Once you get all of these ingredients, you’ll need to make a drink. 

1 Bottle of Titos Vodka

2 Lime wedges

Tonic Water 

Rocks glass half full of ice

 

Mix 3/4 glass of Titos Vodka, squeeze in lime wedges.

1/4 Tonic Water, and stir slowing, not bruising the vodka. 

Now lean against the countertop, have a drink, and contemplate why you’re single, and what the Hell is everyone's problem!!! 

 

In a large sauté pan, on medium heat, sauté garlic with butter until lightly brown. 

Once brown, add in spinach and artichoke’s until softened.

 

Yay!!! You’ve made it this far!!! You deserve another drink.

Add in cheeses and mix thoroughly, slowly mixing in spices.

 

You may be a little buzzed, but this is the perfect time to call your ex.

 

Convert medium heat, to low heat.

 

Call your ex again! They don’t realize how Much they miss you…..But they will.

 

Have another drink.

This drink will tell you how incredible you are, and that your ex doesn’t deserve You!!! In case you're speaking in cursive, text your ex at least 25 times.

 

Continue to stir your artichoke and spinach dip.

 

Let dip simmer, and come to the realization your crumby ex isn’t going to return your call! Their loss!!! 

Go to the bathroom, wipe the tears and mascara off your face, look yourself in the mirror, and say these words……..Im beautiful! And I'm a damn good cook!! 

 

Transfer the Artichoke and Spinach Dip into a serving bowl, and place on a platter. Add your favorite items for dipping, like chips, scoops, veggies, or lightly toasted bruschetta.

Hell, if you’re alone, just eat it with a fork! No one is there to judge you!

Calories?? Who cares!!! Is it delicious??? Hell yeah!!! 

 

Love Ya!!! 

The Boujee Foodie

Curtis Slade